Friday, March 15, 2013

She buried the Truth

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Start Reading or die one messed up person forever! 

"Hello Dear, Got doctor info! They said brains on children don't finish developing until your 25 and the front part is the last part to and that is where you make your decisions and have the right aweariness and feeling comes in on things correctly, like how you can put things together! I talked to tons of girls and everyone of them said they were half nuts until they were in there late twenty's! Out of All of these girls they can't be wrong or you going thru anything differently. I also know and see what your mom has done to you what you seem to want to be in denial about especially since you been doing and going in such the wrong way as it throws you into denial and want to make it everyone but you that's messed up! I admit I'm messed up but you don't think you are, atleast I'm always trying, you just run and hide making things turn horrific! Until you admit it is only when you will start to come out of it! What is lost in the mean time is going to be a horrible thing your going to carry with you for the rest of your life! Things like that can be unbearable at times! I'm a grown up, I know and see it all and what it does to girls and guy who mess up family because only family is all that matters in the end! Especially when you mess with who is more to you than just family but flesh and blood as I am and your brother. That's like hating your self and that leads to gut pain, even cancer that you might seem to be out there but it's Not! There are tons of things you are still for from knowing or even understanding and if you throw away your parents who normally will be the only ones who have a chance to guild you in the right direction and can tell you the truth about things that will help you Tremendously in life! But when it comes to your mom, she can't be truthful or help you in anyway when it comes to your dad or dads as she has failed repeatedly in relationships plus you have the, she can only be out to save face when it comes to your daddy! So that takes away a whole lot out of your life that you can never get right from your mom! I admire how you still want to love her but denial is the worst thing you can ever do
! that means your an enabler! The worst thing to be if you ever seen anything about solving drug addicts that also goes with tons of things in life as they all should be dealt with similarly? Enablers keeps the wrong actions happening and not stopping them in there tracts so there can be a turnaround, a new sense of direction that things need to start going towards to ever have a good out come! You need to trust your Dad, know he will only be their for you and trying to be the most caring to help you with doing the right things for us to come together as we should. You always do what everyone who also been deceived or is out to save face people says and let them manipulate you by horrible advice or lies they been led by and defiantly no God's will in any of it I've seen! No loving caring sane person would Ever tell you to do the things you have gone by! Do I have to wait until your brain is done developing at 25 and then it starts to come together and make sense in your head and you missed out on everything and your brother is way older and by then he will probably change as your the one who never cared, missed all his birthdays and was just shity as can be to me, you twos Dad! He loves me more than anyone as you I would hoped to have and would be also if your mom didn't lie to you your whole life and even gave me half a chance! First Your mom ruined your life and now she got you to follow suite! Quit being just like her, building the same type of cold blooded personality where you can dump your only brother and father never could be sicker and how it will look in the end if you let it all go. Just as dads you said looked bad for not showing up and you never got into it to really know what was the root of the reason that can be complicated and relate to many things you don't even have a clue about yet at your age but I know one thing! You only look like a horrible person right now by all the lies you've said and dumping us left and right and then act like I'm messed up person, not that realizing what your doing is messing me up horribly especially by keeping this huge lie going on your mom put in you to make you act this was and your brian is not even capable of thinking right or putting things together correctly without help and you been ruined against the only one who ever could as I am the only ones who even know or admits to the truth of everything your mom is even in denial about and never possibly will even want to even admit to her self what she did as she buried the truth a long time ago and made all new lies to her self to go by so she never feels bad for what she knows deep down of what and why she did it that talking to me only messes up in her so she can never talk to me right if she never apologizes to me and gets a forgiveness! Let me help US, we are all victims of your moms bad decision and selfishness that you shouldn't ever have a problem realizing she has a problem with and if you don't your going to end up being the same , probably worse than her and never be able to get along with any man for long. If you can throw away your brother and dad that proves you can never do what it takes to keep a man and have a good relationship. Please let me help you in that and reintegrate you into your family! Love Dad"

-March 14, 2013 6:40PM

You have so much to learn!

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Your brother's B day! 

"You all Never knew why or was mislead by your mom of why guys never showed up for birthdays! When are you going to realize just how much Penny has messed up every drop of your emotions and correct way you should think & be towards your family She has kept you from knowing and causing not only disconnect but flat out ruined your brain against us! I could Never cause that especially by saying one word! We love and care for you with all out hearts, me since you were born and your brother since meeting you and realizing he has a (Only One) sibling, he emulates you and you only miss everything about him. We/I Never missed one thing of your I wasn't PREVENTED from going to you but you said how horrible fathers are for doing that but you do it. You don't know why they did it to you and your sister that you know for a huge fact it was all your moms fault with me and probably had a ton to do with the others as No Man wants to go near a woman that ruins there spirit every time they come near or even hear! You can't say that never happened a lot! I seen what Madison wrote about how your mom was to her dad all her life until I came, hmm I wonder what made her change. Grow up, take it as it Really is/was, blow it off and start over and right this time!! You know how bad your mom can be to men or you really think it's ok to do for the right reason? There is Never a good reason for any of it Ever if you know what are the right moral things are? You have so much to learn! When you think you know it all is when you know nothing and never learn another thing and it's all down hill from there! No matter who you are inside I'll always care a lot for you and your well being that it will drive me nuts as long as you act nuts like you are. You say calm down but say and do what is the worst most upsetting things you ever could say so how can I??? HOW? You Cause it then it can only be You to stop it, how do you not get it or make it that way so you can make up reasons for my actions that are never the truth to you causing it. Until you have a caring bone in your body and not ruthless and cruel with what you say that you know hits my biggest nerve that coincides with exactly with what your mom said then we can never talk, never see each other, I can never look at your picture! You do it on purpose but how could you ever think I could ever just go away/dump my kidnapped child she messed up deeper than the ocean? If I can't save you then I have to die trying! Your only ruining things for a life time or let your mom cause you to is more like it, you just don't get anything? If you don't your life is going down the tubes as no moral fiber can live in a life like that means no good can ever come out it or have good last for any length of time because the question will follow you for life! Where is your dad and family, why is he not and the only thing you can ever say is a lie, how long can you make that out to being a no feeling thing. We all grow more feelings as we grow older unless your so rooted in denial you will end up a drug addict. I know all about you, did soon after meeting you but the lies and crap going on and you never letting me talk took a horrible toll on me as I seen her take you strait to hell with her if you don't beg God for forgiveness and then me next. I'll do anything for you, be the most understanding dad you ever meet if need be but you don't want it from a life of brain washing to save face. Didn't she sound funny every time I'd say something she would all of a sudden knew something that she never said before that conflicted? Didn't the DNA test Prove beyond a shadow of a doubt your mom was a horrific liar and Everything I said fell into place making me the Only one telling you the truth in your life and then you run to her believing every lie and sarcastic tale there after hurting me beyond my limits and stressed out I could never think strait by the time we did talk. I never wanted to talk about your mom but you made everything have everything to do with everything you said that was so cruel and flat out the wackiest way of thinking I can't believe even you who wants to believe all she says could even come close to really believing even one drop of it. God help you and I pray for all of you really bad, all of you really need it! Love Dad always! No matter how bad you could get no one, even you can keep me from loving you my child, you need it!"

-March 11, 2013 10:52PM

You missed out

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Pictures Jefferson City

"You missed meeting a lot of dignitaries! Love Dad!"

Attached: 7 photos

-March, 4, 2013 11:28AM

My one sheep lost it's way Bad

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Gifted Honors report!

"It was really nice. You talked about being in government and could have been with us as the lobbyist for the gifted children's association took us all around to meet a bunch of them personally! You sure know how to miss out on everything & everyones including your own! We sat in on a session of government and got to meet the speaker of the house when he was done plus a bunch of others as we went around to all their offices and got introduced! Your brother came in third on essays they wrote on being a gifted child! They read the best ones and boy did they hit home with me! I grew up in the day they didn't understand gifted kids. One kid in his an other's were about how miss understood they are and even quit school because of that an how horribly boring school can be for one and that sure was me! Well I also had the scared to death of all the prejudice blacks to contend with and the life of nightmares to follow! Something u seem to blow off as I don't have Good reason for & make me the prejudice one because I don't like the prejudice ones?? Another oxymoron of yours! Essays said a lot about how you can only feel right around the same type people,  other smart kids,  family here as I bet yours never understood much plus was probably hurt by them being very jealous of you at times? My family was a very jealous and mean at times to me one and not understanding at all most of the time Actually made me out to being something wrong with. Those essays were all about that. I think of me and know how messed up I've been by jealous dumb assess basically an know u probably had to be miss understood a lot. U mentioned something to the contrary once and I tried to tell you how important it really was for u to get to know us because were one of the same and the family u were only let to know couldn't be anything like u muchless understand u or help you in what only gifted people do! But as usual u let the life of lies and brain washing continue and everything with your Daddy is ruined again! I understand u to a T! You need your dad bad and will never realize it until it's too late or your ruined to the max and you seem to be there? You don't understand it just makes me care for you more and hurts me even more as again you all miss understand me and they have turned into I'm a bad thing. Can't u see jealousy and guilt and out to save face ringing throughout your head and even on loud speakers going off?? My one sheep lost it's way Bad and I keep leaving my heard to try to get it home safely! As long as I know it's out there,  messed up I can never rest or be at peace! Only you can cause me to be now forever more! Come my lost one who lost its way! Love Daddy & brother!"

-March 1, 2013 8:31AM

Brother being honored

Email from Dad: Group email, in which I was included

Subject: Ricky Jr. being Honored at State Capital! 

"Hi All, Ricky Jr. is getting honored at the state capital Jefferson city on the 28th! Anyone want to go? My second gifted child is being honored for coming in third by the gifted child association for an essay he wrote. It's suppose to be in the domed building on the 28 but do not have a time yet?
Anyone wants to come I'll get back to you with a time and better instructions I hope soon.
Love Richard & Family!"

-Feb. 24, 2013 12:06PM 

**I highlighted the important part to take away from this email; he still includes me in his family, even though I have not responded to him in over two years. Regardless of the terrible things written in his texts and emails to only me, he praises me to others. 

God matters

Text from Dad: 

"God matters 2u? He has everything to do with love, caring, family, understanding n compassion, all traits u don't possess? Mom just made u want 2 hate ur Dad!:(" 

-Feb. 8, 2013 10:31PM

Against all odds!

Text from Dad: 

"Always remember U & Only U Has Ever abandoned/Dumped ur Parent/Brother, Family! Next ur own children? I proved I never have fought for them against all odds!"

-Feb. 6, 2013 11:55AM