She buried the Truth

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Start Reading or die one messed up person forever! 

"Hello Dear, Got doctor info! They said brains on children don't finish developing until your 25 and the front part is the last part to and that is where you make your decisions and have the right aweariness and feeling comes in on things correctly, like how you can put things together! I talked to tons of girls and everyone of them said they were half nuts until they were in there late twenty's! Out of All of these girls they can't be wrong or you going thru anything differently. I also know and see what your mom has done to you what you seem to want to be in denial about especially since you been doing and going in such the wrong way as it throws you into denial and want to make it everyone but you that's messed up! I admit I'm messed up but you don't think you are, atleast I'm always trying, you just run and hide making things turn horrific! Until you admit it is only when you will start to come out of it! What is lost in the mean time is going to be a horrible thing your going to carry with you for the rest of your life! Things like that can be unbearable at times! I'm a grown up, I know and see it all and what it does to girls and guy who mess up family because only family is all that matters in the end! Especially when you mess with who is more to you than just family but flesh and blood as I am and your brother. That's like hating your self and that leads to gut pain, even cancer that you might seem to be out there but it's Not! There are tons of things you are still for from knowing or even understanding and if you throw away your parents who normally will be the only ones who have a chance to guild you in the right direction and can tell you the truth about things that will help you Tremendously in life! But when it comes to your mom, she can't be truthful or help you in anyway when it comes to your dad or dads as she has failed repeatedly in relationships plus you have the, she can only be out to save face when it comes to your daddy! So that takes away a whole lot out of your life that you can never get right from your mom! I admire how you still want to love her but denial is the worst thing you can ever do

! that means your an enabler! The worst thing to be if you ever seen anything about solving drug addicts that also goes with tons of things in life as they all should be dealt with similarly? Enablers keeps the wrong actions happening and not stopping them in there tracts so there can be a turnaround, a new sense of direction that things need to start going towards to ever have a good out come! You need to trust your Dad, know he will only be their for you and trying to be the most caring to help you with doing the right things for us to come together as we should. You always do what everyone who also been deceived or is out to save face people says and let them manipulate you by horrible advice or lies they been led by and defiantly no God's will in any of it I've seen! No loving caring sane person would Ever tell you to do the things you have gone by! Do I have to wait until your brain is done developing at 25 and then it starts to come together and make sense in your head and you missed out on everything and your brother is way older and by then he will probably change as your the one who never cared, missed all his birthdays and was just shity as can be to me, you twos Dad! He loves me more than anyone as you I would hoped to have and would be also if your mom didn't lie to you your whole life and even gave me half a chance! First Your mom ruined your life and now she got you to follow suite! Quit being just like her, building the same type of cold blooded personality where you can dump your only brother and father never could be sicker and how it will look in the end if you let it all go. Just as dads you said looked bad for not showing up and you never got into it to really know what was the root of the reason that can be complicated and relate to many things you don't even have a clue about yet at your age but I know one thing! You only look like a horrible person right now by all the lies you've said and dumping us left and right and then act like I'm messed up person, not that realizing what your doing is messing me up horribly especially by keeping this huge lie going on your mom put in you to make you act this was and your brian is not even capable of thinking right or putting things together correctly without help and you been ruined against the only one who ever could as I am the only ones who even know or admits to the truth of everything your mom is even in denial about and never possibly will even want to even admit to her self what she did as she buried the truth a long time ago and made all new lies to her self to go by so she never feels bad for what she knows deep down of what and why she did it that talking to me only messes up in her so she can never talk to me right if she never apologizes to me and gets a forgiveness! Let me help US, we are all victims of your moms bad decision and selfishness that you shouldn't ever have a problem realizing she has a problem with and if you don't your going to end up being the same , probably worse than her and never be able to get along with any man for long. If you can throw away your brother and dad that proves you can never do what it takes to keep a man and have a good relationship. Please let me help you in that and reintegrate you into your family! Love Dad"

-March 14, 2013 6:40PM

You have so much to learn!

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Your brother's B day! 

"You all Never knew why or was mislead by your mom of why guys never showed up for birthdays! When are you going to realize just how much Penny has messed up every drop of your emotions and correct way you should think & be towards your family She has kept you from knowing and causing not only disconnect but flat out ruined your brain against us! I could Never cause that especially by saying one word! We love and care for you with all out hearts, me since you were born and your brother since meeting you and realizing he has a (Only One) sibling, he emulates you and you only miss everything about him. We/I Never missed one thing of your I wasn't PREVENTED from going to you but you said how horrible fathers are for doing that but you do it. You don't know why they did it to you and your sister that you know for a huge fact it was all your moms fault with me and probably had a ton to do with the others as No Man wants to go near a woman that ruins there spirit every time they come near or even hear! You can't say that never happened a lot! I seen what Madison wrote about how your mom was to her dad all her life until I came, hmm I wonder what made her change. Grow up, take it as it Really is/was, blow it off and start over and right this time!! You know how bad your mom can be to men or you really think it's ok to do for the right reason? There is Never a good reason for any of it Ever if you know what are the right moral things are? You have so much to learn! When you think you know it all is when you know nothing and never learn another thing and it's all down hill from there! No matter who you are inside I'll always care a lot for you and your well being that it will drive me nuts as long as you act nuts like you are. You say calm down but say and do what is the worst most upsetting things you ever could say so how can I??? HOW? You Cause it then it can only be You to stop it, how do you not get it or make it that way so you can make up reasons for my actions that are never the truth to you causing it. Until you have a caring bone in your body and not ruthless and cruel with what you say that you know hits my biggest nerve that coincides with exactly with what your mom said then we can never talk, never see each other, I can never look at your picture! You do it on purpose but how could you ever think I could ever just go away/dump my kidnapped child she messed up deeper than the ocean? If I can't save you then I have to die trying! Your only ruining things for a life time or let your mom cause you to is more like it, you just don't get anything? If you don't your life is going down the tubes as no moral fiber can live in a life like that means no good can ever come out it or have good last for any length of time because the question will follow you for life! Where is your dad and family, why is he not and the only thing you can ever say is a lie, how long can you make that out to being a no feeling thing. We all grow more feelings as we grow older unless your so rooted in denial you will end up a drug addict. I know all about you, did soon after meeting you but the lies and crap going on and you never letting me talk took a horrible toll on me as I seen her take you strait to hell with her if you don't beg God for forgiveness and then me next. I'll do anything for you, be the most understanding dad you ever meet if need be but you don't want it from a life of brain washing to save face. Didn't she sound funny every time I'd say something she would all of a sudden knew something that she never said before that conflicted? Didn't the DNA test Prove beyond a shadow of a doubt your mom was a horrific liar and Everything I said fell into place making me the Only one telling you the truth in your life and then you run to her believing every lie and sarcastic tale there after hurting me beyond my limits and stressed out I could never think strait by the time we did talk. I never wanted to talk about your mom but you made everything have everything to do with everything you said that was so cruel and flat out the wackiest way of thinking I can't believe even you who wants to believe all she says could even come close to really believing even one drop of it. God help you and I pray for all of you really bad, all of you really need it! Love Dad always! No matter how bad you could get no one, even you can keep me from loving you my child, you need it!"

-March 11, 2013 10:52PM

My one sheep lost it's way Bad

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Gifted Honors report!

"It was really nice. You talked about being in government and could have been with us as the lobbyist for the gifted children's association took us all around to meet a bunch of them personally! You sure know how to miss out on everything & everyones including your own! We sat in on a session of government and got to meet the speaker of the house when he was done plus a bunch of others as we went around to all their offices and got introduced! Your brother came in third on essays they wrote on being a gifted child! They read the best ones and boy did they hit home with me! I grew up in the day they didn't understand gifted kids. One kid in his an other's were about how miss understood they are and even quit school because of that an how horribly boring school can be for one and that sure was me! Well I also had the scared to death of all the prejudice blacks to contend with and the life of nightmares to follow! Something u seem to blow off as I don't have Good reason for & make me the prejudice one because I don't like the prejudice ones?? Another oxymoron of yours! Essays said a lot about how you can only feel right around the same type people,  other smart kids,  family here as I bet yours never understood much plus was probably hurt by them being very jealous of you at times? My family was a very jealous and mean at times to me one and not understanding at all most of the time Actually made me out to being something wrong with. Those essays were all about that. I think of me and know how messed up I've been by jealous dumb assess basically an know u probably had to be miss understood a lot. U mentioned something to the contrary once and I tried to tell you how important it really was for u to get to know us because were one of the same and the family u were only let to know couldn't be anything like u muchless understand u or help you in what only gifted people do! But as usual u let the life of lies and brain washing continue and everything with your Daddy is ruined again! I understand u to a T! You need your dad bad and will never realize it until it's too late or your ruined to the max and you seem to be there? You don't understand it just makes me care for you more and hurts me even more as again you all miss understand me and they have turned into I'm a bad thing. Can't u see jealousy and guilt and out to save face ringing throughout your head and even on loud speakers going off?? My one sheep lost it's way Bad and I keep leaving my heard to try to get it home safely! As long as I know it's out there,  messed up I can never rest or be at peace! Only you can cause me to be now forever more! Come my lost one who lost its way! Love Daddy & brother!"

-March 1, 2013 8:31AM

Brother being honored

Email from Dad: Group email, in which I was included

Subject: Ricky Jr. being Honored at State Capital! 

"Hi All, Ricky Jr. is getting honored at the state capital Jefferson city on the 28th! Anyone want to go? My second gifted child is being honored for coming in third by the gifted child association for an essay he wrote. It's suppose to be in the domed building on the 28 but do not have a time yet?

Anyone wants to come I'll get back to you with a time and better instructions I hope soon.

Love Richard & Family!"

-Feb. 24, 2013 12:06PM 

**I highlighted the important part to take away from this email; he still includes me in his family, even though I have not responded to him in over two years. Regardless of the terrible things written in his texts and emails to only me, he praises me to others. 

God matters

Text from Dad: 

"God matters 2u? He has everything to do with love, caring, family, understanding n compassion, all traits u don't possess? Mom just made u want 2 hate ur Dad!:(" 

-Feb. 8, 2013 10:31PM

Against all odds!

Text from Dad: 

"Always remember U & Only U Has Ever abandoned/Dumped ur Parent/Brother, Family! Next ur own children? I proved I never have fought for them against all odds!"

-Feb. 6, 2013 11:55AM

What's in ur soul?

Text from Dad: 

" How does Daddy's already very hurt love for u cus mom not matter 2 u or what she did & then derange it all. If family matters then we do! What's in ur soul? Fam?"

-Feb. 5, 2013 12:18PM

Ricky Jr!

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Jefferson City Honors for Ricky Jr!

"Your brother who you care so much about is being honored at Jefferson city capital dome I think it is? 28th, I don't know the time yet? He came in third place state wide! If you care e me or call. Love Dad"

-Feb. 15, 2013 9:20PM

You will get a disease..

Email from Dad: 

**WARNING: Explicit Language**

Subject: Daughter 

"How are you? I'm doing better most of the time, You are my very lost child and it hurts and there has never been anything I can do about it but look as I'm always made out to being bad and Never having a say or combat it, even made to look bad for Caring for my own (kidnapped) child?? I've Always Cared and been tore apart over it until I met you and seen what she did to your brain and of course who can handle that? What have they done to your brain to ever make a parent bad for caring so much for they kid who was basically killed off by a selfish mother and I made you out to being a little saint all your life, just as anyone does or speaks of the dead? Why don't you ever get anything or your moms action after being busted or even yours? Understand mine because what was Really done to me? Please grow up because all I can do is hurt so much more intensely since I found what they caused you to say and do! The daughter who I've cared about more than anything on the planet as you were all I ever had in life and cared about for a very long time, sorry people cling to family and who you would think would care about you no matter what especially if they knew what the other parent did to them. Family is the only in life people normally really care about and when you get older it is more so. Sorry I ever cared and can never be like the cold rotten dads you've only known and will probably always end up treating all men like your mom has and ended up alone for a very long time before it made her wake up! You are So Cold Just Like her when you think you should be or have reason to that is a horrible way to be. There is Never a reason to be that cold almost to anyone! You'll see when you have a child and expect to be able to protect it and someone takes your child and tells you she never wants it to know any of your family so no harm done as she lies and brain washes your own flesh and blood much to never wanted to know you and said that before we ever met and you jumped on what you could misconstrue and turn into what you could deem a reason to go back to the only thing you ever felt so you could be sickly cold blooded and NEVER being anything close to trying to be understanding to what I was saying. I never like talking about what blacks did to me because as you seen it really starts making me mad but I was trying to get you to understand my sorry ass life no one seems to give a shit about me then or you now, I was abandon and it killed me what your mom done to you/us an made you think I did you! It hits deeper than anything and why I'm so pissed when everything ever said and done has been all from mom lies mostly just to save face, she would do and say anything to keep you from hating her for what she plainly did to me because of Madison's dad mainly. You will Never understand or care to and only be ruined against your own family Never talking it over with me with no trust or compassion! Only live with hate and never can have a relationship if you always so judgmental and that means your full of prejudices! Your the most prejudice stuck up girl I ever seen? I'm your dad and really care about it but your so bad you won't even talk to your own dad, Never ever have really, almost did at first until you let everyone ruin you because of your moms lies to everyone and her trying to save face! If anyone knew the truth and me they would be at my door and wanting me over when ever I could. You have no clue what your loosing out on for the Rest Of Your Life? That might be why you don't want to know I guess because you know I'm a good person, probably too good that you never been around before, even Max is not even that great and pretty much heartless and only used you to make him look good for his fiance, you don't know people at all or how they All use you, even your friends, even your bot friends only want one thing, if you wasn't such a horny toad obviously you would know if you ever never gave them some for awhile and if they hung around then they really care for you if you make them think for real there not getting any for a very long time, if they don't they really don't like you, only what they know what they can get. Your messed up and will get a disease you know messing around and there is a bunch out there that you will never be able to have children if you get much less die from others. All girls or way more wanting guys attention and doing it right away who have daddy issues. You know what you sound and look like? The last time I was waiting to pick you up you was going on like you was a huge slut, I don't know if you know what you sound and look like like when you was talking to your room mate, you obviously wanted him to think he could do you if he wanted as your the wild thing and always run off screwing guys you don't know for days. That's how I took it and seen he took it that way also. He seemed like a really nice upstanding guy and you will never get a guy like that acting like that. Your going to start looking like your a girl with something doing stuff like that. You were acting like you ran off and was staying with some guy for day because he hadn't seen you in days but know you weren't and you think your wild and that's cool your crazy, that is not how guys take that inside, maybe out side for you. I think it was when your sister came home. I can't figure out just about everything if I want to and see what and why you do what you do and your so lost and messed up from not having a Good respectable Dad to help you in life, tell you things your mom never can, well your mom has had it wrong most of her life as her life proves it. I think the only thing she was good at is raising small children but then her brain doesn't understand people and life after that much. I been meeting new people every day cutting hair and like now talking to every kind of people there is all day long selling real estate, use to sell cars all the time when I was young, I know people better than all of you put together. I know you want to be and look like a good girl but your so off, been raised so naively about so much it's really pathetic. I know I'm a bit too protective and say too much and might even ruin being free feeling because I seen too much but in this world you have to hear and know about this world an what's it's really all about. Just like girls say things they'd never say or let on to a guy goes the same with guys that you obviously never heard before and same with blacks and it all makes me so sad being so easily manipulated by everyone and I seen in you a deep down good girl I never was prouder to know but God your so lost and miss led it makes me want to cry. Got to go, I love and care for you so much! Love Dad"

-Feb. 10, 2013 11:09PM

HUGE Regrets!

Text from Dad: 

"28th Jefferson City dome Your only Real blood Brother is getting honored for coming in 3rd on an essay he wrote. Would you come? Why have u abandon ur family?"

-Feb. 16, 2013 9:10AM

"Please come! It would mean a lot to him! He cares alot for u still as I do! I know what ur mom did 2u, u just don't get it yet but will 1 day the HUGE Regrets!!"

-Feb. 16, 2013 9:26AM

"If u ever want 2 come close 2 understanding me 1st know what ur mom did 2 me & then what she said & did 2 u! The truth will set any1 free of errors & guilt! Lov" 

-Feb. 16, 2013 9:37AM

Save OUR Family!

Text from Dad: 

"I think you did start 2 feel as u realized what ur mom really did & the way u was treating me, o my God. I guess that would put any1 in denial? Save OUR Family!" 

-Feb. 4, 2013 10:55AM

Selfish mom

Text from Dad: 

"When u coming home? Live near city, get good job here! Catch up & bond with your family that selfish mom forced u to miss out on! Stop braking my heart! LoveDad"

-Feb. 2, 2013 4:40AM 

You don't have a clue

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Daughter

"I have no problem forgiving you as I know what your mom did to you, why don't you know or want to know? You lied your head off and got caught, I understand, you don't have to go hide your head! I can't help you give me nervous brake downs. If your boy friend took your child and there wasn't a thing you could do about it how would you be like? What if you find the kid and it has had a life long life of lies made to want to hate you, it will never even want you to matter and actually only want to hurt you the first chance you give it reason to jump on back on the wagon of hating you, adding you telling it's life has been a total lie and it's dad was really the sick selfish one that it can't handle! Especially after the way it treated you, lied profusely, dumped you every other time without a drop of respect to call you as you freak out scared to death it was killed in a car wreck just like you had been told and thought died once before in a car wreck but turned out not to be it but you lived a life of the same as if it was dead and you always tread to keep it's spirit alive in the family for the main reason was because it's parent told you it never was going to meet you so you never would matter as long as you never meet, killed off your own child and now even more caring of it and it could care less about you and only rubbed in what hurts you the worse, your not family because you never grew up with it as if it was your fault and only love who kept you from growing up with it, how mixed up sicker could it get? Only family means anything to you your whole life and it only rubs in how much it makes you not family? Your family that was basically kidnapped from you and your made out to be the bad guy, how can that not bother you or want it straitened out? How do you walk away? How do you even forget it for a second after that? How are you not so heart broken you can't stand to live another day feeling so hopeless and only made to be a weirdo for caring. Why can't I be what everyone makes you into, a who cares about there kids, why do the ones who care are the one everyone wants to hurt? Why does it hurt so much? Teach me how to not feel like your mom caused to happen in you Please if your going to be a mean cruel child who doesn't know who is family and who isn't much less who should be or deserve to be anymore for a long time, like 22 year absence! Funny your the only one who has ever missed birthdays when it comes to your Dads side but you crab about others missing who you think shouldn't have had there's missed but your reasons are ok even though you never know what there real reasons were but you think there terrible for it, what are you, we don't know your reasons besides you hate to have another family to have to deal with as you said, what's that make you? You don't have a clue the horrible things you never stopped telling me, just like your mom did when she thought I was leaving her. I never was going to but took it as it was going to be like another Madison dad deal and wanted free money and no dad to have to deal with as she said she wasn't going to make that mistake again and that's just ok to you and all her lies to your that your dad wasn't behind the slammed door in his face hurting? Why do you have Deep hatred in you that you expressed the first time we talked and you told me the way you would be if that other your so called dad came to see you you said you would want to see and once and that was it? Your mom lies don't just go away and she caused you look so bad as you lied to her and got so caught up in them and I gave you reason to find something to hate me for then you went all out and never let me look good, even caused me to be so hurt I never could be right ever since, you sent me to the hospital because of how bad you are! That make you a good person in anyway, I don't know how you can even sleep at night much less act nice to anyone without feeling like the biggest fake and can never say family means anything to you after this? We know Penny messed you up and will always be here to help you understand it and not want you to hate your mom that you will never see if you keep on the same tract. You sure went down the worse one you could have instead rather hurt me as bad as you could and did, God see everything you do, if I see it all you know what he knows. Save your self before it's too late! God will ruin you, your mom did a good enough job and we understand that but you keep it going he will ruin you and every relationship you will ever have, your so messed up I don't see how you could ever have one, if they find out what you did to your dad and family means anything to them then you will be gone! No one wants someone who hurts there dad or mom for Any reason! God only asks ten things of you and you braking a bunch of them! We want to forgive you but you have to want to first then ask or you never will be and will have the worst feeling to have to live with for the rest of your life and that I hope will be for a very long time, good luck with that! Love Dad"

-Jan. 28, 2013 12:55AM

Ruin me!

Text from Dad: 

"You were held Captive! Same exact thing as Kidnapped! How do u not get it or me or think the one who held u captive won't keep u deceived 2 save face & Ruin me!"

-Feb. 1, 2013 1:23AM

"She has spent ur life time deceiving u & ruining me in your eyes so I'll never matter & you'll never even be able to or want to think bad of her, only hate me?"

-Feb. 1, 2013 1:28AM 

Wounded

Text from Dad:

"How's God letting your life turn out? Mine is fantastic, I never sold so many houses lately even in a whole year. God always taken great car of the wounded!"

-Jan. 31, 2013 12:33AM

*Background: My dad's a Real Estate Agent*

Whats so broken n you

Text from Dad: 

"All I ever dreamed of is oneday having my family whole & happy. Penny has ruined you on everything family. Now only think of how to meand whats so broken n you"

-Jan. 27, 2013 11:08PM 

Blood relatives are the Only Real relatives!

Text from Dad: 

"Does God matter to you? You're parents, only Real brother you have? If you can marry your brother then he really isn't your brother! Quit being srewedup &missi"

-Jan. 27, 2013 11:15AM

"Blood relatives are the Only Real relatives! Haven't you lived enough lies in your life time? Missed enough of who will matter most when you get older & wake up"

-Jan. 27, 2013 12:58PM 

"Guilt was my only defense against this unGodly evil thinking& u say y have trained yourself not to feel it? What options r left for a Dad of kidnapped child?"

-Jan. 27, 2013 7:36PM

Full of prejudices!

Email from Dad: 

**WARNING: Explicit language**

Subject: Never play with your only brother, Dad because you all full of prejudices!

"No Parent can handle kidnapped brain washed to hate you child U think? She caused that in you way before you ever met me and you even told me you would never want to do more than meet the dad you thought was so why you think that feeling would go away or not be pushed onto me? That is what you did as you wanted me to be a prejudice person that is nuts, I admit I get talking about all the prejudice things I seen and had happen to me and my friends and family and I start to be but I know I never am and never will be no matter who try's to make me. You have a Bunch done to you by any family, race or creed and you will not be talking well of them, that is why I never talk about it because it makes me so mad! and then your deemed a bad prejudice person of all who are like that, that is what your doing. Only excuses for you not being caring as you mom made you not feel anything for us, only deep down hatred that you don't realize and why you turn it into not liking me for, one day you will! One day you will appreciate a dad who cared for you, tried so hard to have you caring about your family that seems to be beyond your conscience that you said was able to turn off? That was all I had left to get thru to you but mom got it all worked out so we never matter as she said she would. You just never get it, anything? One day you will and it will hit you like a ton of bricks and make total sense! I tried to save you from it, who cares? None of your sisters! Talked to Madison's ass, boy what another messed up lied to winner? Lied to by you! When are you going to stop being a perfuse liar? Grow up Please! Love Dad"

-Jan. 23, 2013 1:37AM

Get it?

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Who can get over child being kidnapped? Get it?

"Hello dear,  I wish you could get over all your Daddy issues! I wish I could get over my daughter being kidnapped & brainwashed that you will realize one day and know what it did to me? Sorry I do have problems after having so many problems seeing so much bad happen to my friends and family by blacks that doesn't just go away but I still say I've never been prejudice at heart, just get very upset when I think of it all and the memories flood back, hard to contain myself, same with your mother.  I'll never hate anyone deep down and always want good for all and to happen!  Same as I want for you no matter what you say or do! I care too much so it comes out too over the top? When things mean a lot to you it's hard to keep under control when you only see it out of control all the time! Family mean anything to you yet? Miss you bad! Missed your life, bad! Love Dad"

-Jan. 23, 2013 12:33AM 

Nightmare

Text from Dad: 

"First u need 2 realize I'm ur parent & then u were held captive & then all the rest would make sense! More reason for me 2 want this nightmare overwith & hurtby"

-Jan. 14, 2013 8:02AM