You don't have a clue

Email from Dad: 

Subject: Daughter

"I have no problem forgiving you as I know what your mom did to you, why don't you know or want to know? You lied your head off and got caught, I understand, you don't have to go hide your head! I can't help you give me nervous brake downs. If your boy friend took your child and there wasn't a thing you could do about it how would you be like? What if you find the kid and it has had a life long life of lies made to want to hate you, it will never even want you to matter and actually only want to hurt you the first chance you give it reason to jump on back on the wagon of hating you, adding you telling it's life has been a total lie and it's dad was really the sick selfish one that it can't handle! Especially after the way it treated you, lied profusely, dumped you every other time without a drop of respect to call you as you freak out scared to death it was killed in a car wreck just like you had been told and thought died once before in a car wreck but turned out not to be it but you lived a life of the same as if it was dead and you always tread to keep it's spirit alive in the family for the main reason was because it's parent told you it never was going to meet you so you never would matter as long as you never meet, killed off your own child and now even more caring of it and it could care less about you and only rubbed in what hurts you the worse, your not family because you never grew up with it as if it was your fault and only love who kept you from growing up with it, how mixed up sicker could it get? Only family means anything to you your whole life and it only rubs in how much it makes you not family? Your family that was basically kidnapped from you and your made out to be the bad guy, how can that not bother you or want it straitened out? How do you walk away? How do you even forget it for a second after that? How are you not so heart broken you can't stand to live another day feeling so hopeless and only made to be a weirdo for caring. Why can't I be what everyone makes you into, a who cares about there kids, why do the ones who care are the one everyone wants to hurt? Why does it hurt so much? Teach me how to not feel like your mom caused to happen in you Please if your going to be a mean cruel child who doesn't know who is family and who isn't much less who should be or deserve to be anymore for a long time, like 22 year absence! Funny your the only one who has ever missed birthdays when it comes to your Dads side but you crab about others missing who you think shouldn't have had there's missed but your reasons are ok even though you never know what there real reasons were but you think there terrible for it, what are you, we don't know your reasons besides you hate to have another family to have to deal with as you said, what's that make you? You don't have a clue the horrible things you never stopped telling me, just like your mom did when she thought I was leaving her. I never was going to but took it as it was going to be like another Madison dad deal and wanted free money and no dad to have to deal with as she said she wasn't going to make that mistake again and that's just ok to you and all her lies to your that your dad wasn't behind the slammed door in his face hurting? Why do you have Deep hatred in you that you expressed the first time we talked and you told me the way you would be if that other your so called dad came to see you you said you would want to see and once and that was it? Your mom lies don't just go away and she caused you look so bad as you lied to her and got so caught up in them and I gave you reason to find something to hate me for then you went all out and never let me look good, even caused me to be so hurt I never could be right ever since, you sent me to the hospital because of how bad you are! That make you a good person in anyway, I don't know how you can even sleep at night much less act nice to anyone without feeling like the biggest fake and can never say family means anything to you after this? We know Penny messed you up and will always be here to help you understand it and not want you to hate your mom that you will never see if you keep on the same tract. You sure went down the worse one you could have instead rather hurt me as bad as you could and did, God see everything you do, if I see it all you know what he knows. Save your self before it's too late! God will ruin you, your mom did a good enough job and we understand that but you keep it going he will ruin you and every relationship you will ever have, your so messed up I don't see how you could ever have one, if they find out what you did to your dad and family means anything to them then you will be gone! No one wants someone who hurts there dad or mom for Any reason! God only asks ten things of you and you braking a bunch of them! We want to forgive you but you have to want to first then ask or you never will be and will have the worst feeling to have to live with for the rest of your life and that I hope will be for a very long time, good luck with that! Love Dad"

-Jan. 28, 2013 12:55AM